Wrong place at the wrong time

My Driving License and Registration were taken away yesterday afternoon, by no fault of my own, but because of an overweight, insecure, corrupt police officer. When you take a minute to think about it, corruption is a very interesting thing. It can be the life-jacket that saves some people from drowning as a result of the consequences of their actions, or the shark that nibbles at your body bit by bit until you can't struggle any longer, for other people. Fortunately for me, I happened to be the former!

Driving in the opposite direction is an offense according to the new Traffic Regulations in Egypt, punishable by 4 days in jail and withholding both the car and licenses of the felon indefinitely. In my case, I knew that I had the means to manipulate the system to my own advantage, and therefore found in only a slight discomfort, having to go to the police checkpoint.

It was, in fact, a pleasant experience. The corrupt officer, who boasted a pair of 600 pound Police sunglasses, with no more than an 800 pound monthly income, was a pleasant man who joked with me on the way to the station, and assured me that I had many options to chose from. We continued to exchange pleasantries in the station, where he nevertheless began to write his report, all the while telling me to call whatever connections I may have if I wished. Unfortunately the report had already been stamped and documented by the time my uncle, a Brigadier General in the police force, had arrived. I needed not to pay the preliminary fine of 50 pounds or go to the police station, which are the official proceedings for most people in that situation. However, I found no way out of the one-thousand pound fine which the report ensured that I must pay. Before leaving the police checkpoint, the young officer called me and whispered to my ear that, if I wished, I could fabricate an application for replacement of the licenses which had been "lost" and avoid paying the fine, with the help of my uncle of course.

On the other hand, those who are not as fortunate as myself to have an influential uncle and enough income to overlook such a fine, are not as lucky.

Among the people who were taken to the checkpoint was a taxi driver, who had neither a driving license nor a car license for the taxi he was driving. Unlike me, the taxi he drove was towed, with the hand-breaks lifted, to ensure maximum damage to the wheels due to friction. The young man was insulted, shouted and cursed at, and was literally begging the officer to have mercy upon his soul. I drove both the officer and the taxi driver to the checkpoint, all the while the taxi driver was begging and pleading with the officer to look as deep as he could into his soul to find even the tiniest ounce of mercy, which he wouldn't have found, had he taken the time to look. The young driver, knowing he would be detained indefinitely without being charged for anything opened the door of my car, and jumped out as we entered an intersection, fleeing as quickly as he could. The officer, who had the drivers ID-Card, assured me that within 2 days the man would be detained and locked up for indefinitely until he is charged with evading a police officer, and ultimately locked in jail for a longer time.

Yesterday I had the pleasure to witness both sides of the struggle, my own, and that of the unfortunately unlucky taxi driver. This experience, although an overall pleasant one, made me realize how important it is to have influence and to be a respectable member of the community, Only once those two requirements are achieved will you be able to use the corrupt system to your favor.

Strike of the garbage man

Ever since I've lived in Egypt, I've noticed the people's many bad habits, one of which is their method of dealing with garbage. It varies from place to place, however. For example, in Moharam Bek, a place somewhat at the bottom of the social ladder, it's nothing out of the ordinary to be standing under any given balcony, and find that someone had thrown a bag of fish guts, watermelon peelings, and chicken bones right on top of your head from the balcony! There is also the occasional spillage of buckets of dirty water, which was used for mopping dirty floors. Not to mention the all day long throwing of fingernail clippings, watermelon seeds, old cans, cartons and boxes at all hours of the day.

In the more civilized areas of Alexandria, like Roushdy, where I live. The behavior may differ, but the mentality is the same. Instead of throwing the garbage out of the balcony, they go all the way to dumpster at the entrance of the building and, from the gate, fling the bag with all their might towards the dumpster. It may fall into the dumpster, or around, or nowhere near, but in any case, the bag bursts on impact causing the garbage it contained to fly in any and every direction, leaving a mountain of filth all over the street. If you're lucky enough to have it land somewhere in one piece, then fear not, because in the late hours of the night, there is always a hungry homeless man who will open it to look for anything to eat!

Why have I chosen to talk about this subject?? I've chosen to do so because for the past two months, the garbage collecting company "ONYX" employees have been on strike due to low wages, and ever since, the garbage has been pilling in every corner. At least at first when people would throw their garbage, there was always someone to remove it from the middle of the street, but now, the garbage keeps on coming, while those who used to clean it up don't!

So now whenever I see a pile of garbage on my right while driving, I have to move to the far left to avoid it, and more often than not, there would be a car parked on the other side, so I would have to suffer the agonizing pain of having to squeeze between a car and a pile of crap, and sometimes even over the garbage itself. The stench has become intolerable, and the sight sickening, even in the most expensive areas of the city, the garbage has found its way there.

I'm sure that whatever the garbage collectors want is a small price to pay to have clean streets that smell like the trees in them, and the ability to actually see the side-walk and the borders of the metal dumpsters, which have been obscured by the mountains of garbage. I only dream of the day when I can walk in the street and not be attacked by a multitude of flies, which have made home of the ever-growing mountains of garbage which plague the city, and the country!

Ignorance is bliss

I know I've discussed this issue time and time again, but people never sieze to amaze me. As fond as I am of the concept of no-sex-before-marrige, I'll be the first to admit that it has some, if not many drawbacks.

Egyptian youth, myself included, are without a doubt one of the horniest people on the planet, think day and night of nothing but what lies within their crotch. Just the other day, I was discussing a certian issue with my friends. Now, since there is little or no sex education here, people tend to get carried away when talking about the first night of marriage, and how to preform the sexual act. It is a firm belief that you are religiously permitted, if not doctrined, to use your finger during sexual intercourse, since a female orgasm is much more difficult to achieve than that of a male, and you will be satisfied long before her.

Another misconception is the infamous female ejaculation. Many people fear that when their prospective wives achieve a climactic point, the shooting of some sort of female fluid from the vagine may hurt them. When I argued that a female ejaculation, unlike that of a male, does not preform any biological function, and therefore does not exist, I was mocked and ridiculed as the person who does not believe in the female ejaculation!

What I've just mentioned is a samle of the endless list of idiocy that I have to put up with, and be ridiculed for disagreeing with.

And I'd just like to say that Ignorance is most certainly NOT a bliss.

Marwa El-Sherbeeny May she rest in piece

Dr. Marwa El-Sherbeeny, an Egyptian woman living in Germany with her husband and child was brutally murdered in cold blood by 18 stab wounds to the abdomen in a courtroom in Germany just a week or so ago.

The man who killed her, and stabbed her husband six times in front of their young child's eyes allegedly did so out of hatred to Muslims, and was only present in the courtroom because he had attacked Dr. Marwa earlier that week in a public park and tried to rip off her head-scarf.

This post is not a tribute Muslims, or women, but a to any human being's basic right to practice their religion wherever, whenever, and however they want to do so. What happened to the young doctor is a tragedy, and what is even more of a tragedy is her country's response to the tragedy. Egypt has done literally NOTHING to avenge her family. Sure, the media has done more than its part to criticize the incident, and persuade people to voice their concerns to officials, but what has any of it amounted to? Nothing! If the person who was killed was of any other nationality, any at all, economic relations between the two countries would come to a standstill until all the guilty parties were punished. However, the Egyptian population has been and always will be, worthless, and not dignified enough for people to care about.

So despite people's attempts, and the "international outcry" that has occurred, I doubt that anything will happen and that any guilty parties will be brought to justice, and that anyone will be held liable.

People are now talking about a nation-wide boycott of german products, like the one which happened with Denmark concerning the caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad. However, I doubt that a boycott would have any effect whatsoever, just like that of Denmark, whose losses were all recovered within a week after the boycott officially ended.

Once again I'd like to make it clear that this post is simply to say that: anyone of any religion has the freedom to practice their religion wherever they want, even if the whole world thinks of that religion as a breeding ground for terrorists...

RIP Dr. Marwa El Sherbeeny

Double Standards

I was born and raised Muslim, and continue to live as one, and intend to stay that way. As a result, I've always taken offense to any derogatory comments or racism against Muslims. As much as I'm an advocate of equality for Muslims, I've also been open to all religions and freedom to practice anywhere in the world.

Recently, since 9/11 to be exact, Muslims have become the object of racism, intolerance, and unfair treatment throughout the world. I happen to know several girls my age who wore the head-scarf (hijab) and stopped wearing it after traveling to the US because they were persecuted and discriminated against, to the point that people in public places refused to serve them.

While this behavior is by all means, wrong, I cannot say that it's completely their fault, or that Muslims are any better.

When a tourist comes to Egypt, and brings his or her culture with them, they too are subject to ridicule and discrimination because of it. For example, a woman walking in the street with a mini-skirt on, a strapless top boasting her shoulders and even some cleavage, is hissed at, harassed verbally and sometimes even physically, by a spanking and whatnot, and on very rare occasions, raped, but only if she is alone in a dark street and happened to run into some drug addict or something of the sort.

So, how could we as Muslims expect to be treated any better when we take our religion to their countries. That certainly gave me something to think about.

However, there is an issue that contradicts this theory. In Egypt at least, people are not discriminated against, but simply treated badly, served, even if it's rudely done. But they are served nonetheless. However, people are free to practice religion as they please, without persecution.

However, even though people are free to practice religion and wear religious garments, that rule does not apply to Jews. After the 1973 war on Israel, Jews were no longer welcome in Egypt, and I assure you, if a Jew was seen wearing the head-dress that is common to the Jewish faith, he would not be welcome, or treated or served very well either.

So there is the dilemma for you? Who is right and who isn't? Is there a clear-cut villain in this story? or is it just shades of gray? And more importantly, how can it be fixed?

Ignorance is bliss

Time and time again, I am reminded of the infamous Egyptian ignorance. That which makes them say and do the most unbelievably idiotic things that wouldn't, in a million years, ever cross your mind had you been in their shoes.

Since the attitude towards education is the same as that towards food: (It won't matter tomorrow if I have nothing to eat today), the population simply does not give education the time of day, and don't know how enlightening it can be to know your A,B,Cs... as is the case of the woman this blog post will now discuss.

Just this morning I was in a taxi on my way to a friend's birthday, when suddenly a brand new Terios' rear end was shattered into shreds by a speeding taxi coming from behind. The fight which followed the incident is not the issue I intend to discuss, because I already know that people here will never change their ways, but what I'd like to comment on is what the woman riding in my taxi had to say about the matter.

She was a short woman of about 35 years. Her horribly conspicuous make-up indicated that she came from a lower class family, probably a simple civil servant, who had never seen larger than a 200 LE note in her life. All this woman had to say was:

"I don't know what that guy (driver of the Terios) is so pissed off about. He can fix that damage for like 100 pounds, and it wouldn't amount to one day out in a cafeteria!!"

Now in case you didn't notice the irony, I'll spell it out for you. There is no dent, no matter how small, that will cost less than 1000 pounds, and there's no decent middle or upper middle class citizen who would ever put himself in the position of having to pay more than 30 or 40 pounds in a cafeteria.

The point that I wish to make is simple: People are so jealous, and so incredibly bitter of being deprived the simplest luxuries, that they make out any person fortunate enough to have what they want into a blood sucking monster, who has more money than God, and who would shower the streets with 100 pound bills if he felt like doing so on a whim.

I concluded from today's experience that ignorance really is bliss, because if the bitter, envious people of this country knew the truth about he lives of those they envy so much, they would become even more bitter, and more loathing of the people they will always wish to be like.

Omar Khairat

Anyone who follows my blog would know that throughout my posts, I've adopted mainly a negative, criticizing tone whenever discussing an issue. This post is not similar to the rest, because for once, I found something good to say about Egypt.

Last night, I attended a concert for the Egyptian Maestro, Omar Khairat. I'm the first to admit that when I bought the ticket, I had no idea what this man did for a living, or what it was that I was about to attend. However, as the talented Maestro waved his hands back and forth instructing the orchestra, I began to grow fond the the music he produced.

Each piece more magnificent than the one before, each utilizing as many instruments at one time, to produce the purest, and most beautiful of music. My personal favorite was: "Take Care of Yourself", a soft, slow, very touching piece that is still ringing in my ears as I write about it.

Not only was I surprised by his musical genius, but also at the amazing crowd which came to listen to him. There could have been nearly 2000 people in that tiny open-air plaza at the Bibliotheca, and not for nothing, for Omar Khairat turned out to be a very talented person, whom all Egyptians should listen to.

Bobos: An all new cinematic low

I'm not one for movie reviews, and the subject of this blog is far from that, but last night I had the "honour" of wasting 15 EGP on Adel Imam's new sorry excuse for a movie: Bobos!

As always, the za'eem (Leader), Adel Imam, has made yet another pointless movie, which tells the story of a man who did nothing, and fell in love with a woman who dressed like a prostitute. One would think that a motion picture with names such as Hassan Hosny, Ezat Abu Ouf, Lotfy Labeeb, Adel Imam, and the infamous Yousra, would amout to something, yet your hopes of seeing a movie that made you stop and think about it's story are quickly crushed like a bug under your shoe.

Bobos, who is the son of an important government official, is the object of Imam's bribes to get loand from banks. One would think that the movie would continue in that sequence to discuss the ramifications of bribes on both ends of the social ladder, but NO! The 70-year-old Imam, who is probably impotent and living on his former glory, proceeds throughout the 1.5 hours to massage women's thighs, french kiss countless women, including a disgusting, stomach-turning all out tonguing with Yousra in the end of the movie.

Other than the pointlessness of the movie, it's riddled with demeaning sexual innuendoes and connotation. I'll be the first to admit that I was laughing my head off all throughout the movie, but in the end what did I gain from the movie? what, if any, is the lesson I've learned from Adel Imam groping a thong?...

Therefore, I consider Bobos to be a new low in Adel Imam's cinematic career, as well as Egyptian Cinema, and I consider every penny they earn from this filthy, tabloid, TV movie a waste of the county's tax-payer's money.

FuNkY AraBs!!!!!

The new-born, lebanese music "sensation", Jad Choueiry just released his newest "masterpiece". Yet another superb creation to add to the never ending list of his ridiculous sorry excuse for Musical talent. His new music video, if it can even be called that, is titled: Funky Arabs.

This magnificent work of pornography is meant to change people's view of Arabs, more specifically, to make people stop thinking of Arabs as bearded terrorists. However, the message is actually sends may be even worse than the preconceived notion of "Bin Laden". Choueiry's message of: "Let the funky Arabs turn you on tonight..." as he massages his six-pack all the while gawking at a belly-dancer's nude body, seems to give the idea that "...Arabs are pimps and whores just like the people we're copying in this song!..." So not only does it demean women of any ethnicity, Arabs and their religion, and the conservative eastern community from which he is, but it also demeans the "funky" people of the developed world as if saying that all they do is party until dawn, drink, have sex, and look pretty.

For me at least, this idiotic piece of trash does nothing but insult my intelligence, and the aspiring pimp, Jad Choueiry seems to have outdone himself, and I personally can't wait for his next work of "art"

Here's a link to the video if you're interested in watching:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgUhTGDZDKc

Sexed-up...

Being an teenager, it's nothing out of the ordinary to be interested in sex and anything to do with it, but is it possible to become too sexed-up? Especially in a conservative eastern society where premarital sex is frowned-upon, therefore making the people all the more horny.

I've been friends with my best friend for nearly 5 years now, and I cannot recall a single occasion where we actually discussed something of substance or importance. Nearly all our conversations are about sexual positions, sexual encounters and anything to do with the act of intercourse. Not to mention the swearing and cursing which is all of course derived from any sort of sexual act.

Furthermore, whenever a girl is mentioned, even in passing, during a conversation, whatever it may be, the first thing that would come to anyone's mind is: "Is she pretty? Does she have a nice body?..." and so on, and so forth. I have no problem in talking trash and having a laugh every once in a while, but does it have to be every waking second of every day? Is it weird to be so sick of sex that you want to vomit? I think it has something to do with the fact that people are so sexually repressed that it becomes all they can ever think about, until they finally get married and have sex for the first time in their lives.

However, what annoys me the most is not the fact of the constant sex talks, but the fact that every time I try, or even hint at, a subject of substance and meaning, my attempts are quickly thwarted by some amusing remark about some girls behind, or a sex joke that makes us all burst into hollers of laughter and tears of joy. For example, just yesterday I mentioned the egyptian soccer team's scandal involving the call-girls in their hotel rooms the night before their big match (which they lost 3-0 to the US), only to have a friend cut me off mid-sentence to say: "What do you think a blow job would feel like?!"

So you tell me, where exactly is the problem here? Because I am at a loss of what to think...